Women are from Safa, and men are from Marwa

From EternalGarment.com

Understanding and respecting the differences between men and women.

Learning and appreciating these differences will only strengthen our relationships and lay the foundation for a blissful marriage insha’Allah. Enjoy and SHARE SHARE SHARE 🙂

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Broadening our minds when seeking Spouses…

Written by our beloved Imam Zaid Shakir

From www.EternalGarment.com — A very thought-provoking article written by Imam Zaid Shakir…

Too many Muslims are involved in marriages that devolve into an empty observation of duties and an equally vacuous demand for the fulfillment
of rights. While such practices are laudable in their proper context, when they are divorced from kindness, consideration, empathy, and true commitment they define marriages that become a fragile caricature. Such relationships are irreparably shattered by a silly argument, a few wrinkles on the face, unwanted pounds around the waist, a personality quirk or a whimsical desire to play the field to see if one can latch on to someone prettier, wealthier, younger, or possibly more exciting than one’s spouse…

For the Full Article, please CLICK HERE…

If you are looking to get married, please check out www.EternalGarment.com

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Having difficulties seeking a good muslim spouse ?

Are You LOOKING FOR A GOOD MUSLIM SPOUSE ? Already tried asking friends/family but no good results yet? Attented numerous Islamic events, seminars and banquets, yet frustrated about not being able to actually bump into a good match? Scared of matrimonial websites because of all the online predators and scammers out there ?

Please checkout -> www.EternalGarment.com – An uniquely designed Muslim MATRIMONIAL website that’s OFFICIALLY ENDORSED by numerous Islamic SCHOLARS (See All Endorsements). The website is strictly monitored for respectful conduct, and guarantees to keep predators and scammers away. All profiles are 100% genuine, and members are mature and highly motivated to get MARRIED, not fool around.

If you are already married or not interested in marriage, we humbly request you to refer your family members and friends to our very SAFE and PRIVACY-ASSURED Muslim Matrimonial Service (www.EternalGarment.com). Therefore, please help us spread the word about our project:

Checkout: Why Our Service is Unique?
LIKE our Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/EternalGarment
FOLLOW us on Twitter: www.twitter.com/egarment
Check out our Blog: http://dotphase.com/projects/pro/eternalgarment/

Or at least inform your friends and family to help get the word out about our very unique project designed to benefit the entire muslim ummah.

Jazak’ Allahu khairan in advance…

~ The Eternal Garment Team ~

Salat-ul-ISTIKHARA. What is it, and how & why pray it?

Have you ever wondered what Salat-ul-Istikhara is all about ?

Where did it come from ? Is it from the Sunnah ?
How exactly to pray Istikhara ?
Why should we pray Istikhara ?
What are the prerequisites of Istikhara ?
What are the benefits of Istikhara ?
What to expect after praying Istikhara?
When should we pray Istikhara ? Definitely a prayer you should perform when considering someone for marriage 😉

Here is a very comprehensive and informative video lecture on everything you have ever wanted to know about Istikhara. Please benefit and share 🙂

In order to find MANY insightful articles and videos on Islamic Marriage related topics, please feel free to LIKE our Facebook Page -> facebook.com/EternalGarment

If you are LOOKING TO GET MARRIED, please checkout our uniquely designed Muslim MATRIMONIAL Website ( EternalGarment.com ).

The website is officially endorsed by numerous Islamic Scholars. To see all of our endorsements, Click Here.

Tips to win your spouse’s heart :-)

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Tips to win your WIFE’s heart:

♥ If your wife is still asleep when you have woken up, give her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

♥ Watch your wife’s beauty secretly.

♥ Whenever you have the opportunity, offer her a flower or a bouquet of flowers with a smile.

♥ Rather than trying to satisfy her too much, feel and say that YOU are satisfied with her. Your own satisfaction will satisfy her.

♥ On coming back home every time, give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

♥ Tell her that she looked really nice when she was asleep last night.

♥ Feel that you have never seen anybody like her and let her know it.

♥ Don’t look for her body. That’s already yours. Rather look for her mind. She’s looking for opportunities to offer it to you.

♥ Sometimes act like a child and let her teach you something. She can teach you some things that nobody else can.

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Tips to win your HUSBAND’s heart:

♥ Make Dua to Allah to make your marriage and relationship happy and successful.

♥ Try your best to be obedient and respectful of his (halal) requests.

♥ Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah. The Prophet (saw) said “any woman who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah”.

♥ Be the first to apologize after arguments, even if you believe it wasn’t your fault. Allah (swt) will always honor and reward the one who tries to be the bigger person by humbling themself.

♥ Be grateful for all the things that your husband does do, and DONT ponder upon things that he doesnt do. An appreciative wife will always encourage the husband to naturally do more for his wife even without asking 😉

♥ Be playful, make jokes, and engage in fun activities with your husband. Make your husband want to come home to a fun and relaxing environment.

♥ Feel free to beautify and adorn yourself in the home for your husband. Your makeup, jewelry, and beauty is for him to appreciate, not the rest of the world.

♥ Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn and try to imitate them if you can: ‘wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to ‘enlarge’ them, and sing to your husband..’

♥ When your husband comes home, greet him with a warm hug and a beautiful and welcoming smile. Even if you have serious issues to talk about: delay that discussion till later when he is relaxed.

♥ As best as possible, keep the house clean and tidy… coming home to a nice clean organized home will definitely uplift his spirits and put him in a good mood…

What qualities to look for in a Spouse ?

There are millions of men looking for a wife, and millions of women looking for husbands, but sometimes people don’t know what qualities to look for, or how to go about seeking the right spouse for themselves.

Our beloved Prophet (saw) has encouraged us to seek Piety and Good Character above everything else. That doesn’t mean that we ignore other traits and qualities. It just means that we should make Piety and Good Character a high priority when we seek a spouse for marriage.

For a more detailed discussion of the topic, please checkout these two videos. Enjoy and share 🙂 Till next time… Salaam Alaykum, and Jumu’ah Mubarak!

How to Find your Islamic Soulmate

How to Find a Good Spouse

Tips while searching for a good Muslim spouse on Matrimonial Websites

From www.EternalGarment.com

In our humble opinion, below are a few pieces of advice to keep in mind, that will insha’Allah be beneficial while you seek a good compatible spouse for a successful and happy marriage…

1. First and foremost, constantly make sincere du’a to Allah (swt) for a good spouse who will be the best for you for this world, and for the hereafter. Our Prophet (saw) advised us that we look for spouses who have piety and good character above everything else.

2. Always be honest with the prospective match you communicate with. Deceiving others with lies might get you far into a relationship, might even get you married. But a marriage based on the foundation of dishonesty will never prosper! So please always be 100% honest.

3. If any member ever asks you for money, or acts in a disrespectful and/or abusive way, please report that member to the website authority as an “Abusive Member”.

4. Put up a picture of yourself. Profiles with pictures will always get much more attention! Feel free to password-protect your pictures if you have that option. This way, you control exactly which member(s) can view your pictures.

5. Login to the website frequently, and respond to interested members quickly. If you take too long to respond, you would appear not interested, and interested members will move on to other prospects.

6. Be respectful and polite as you communicate. DONT come across as too aggressive, flirtatious, or too needy! Be humble, yet maintain self-respect and dignity.

7. Be realistic as you search for a spouse. Nobody is perfect, so don’t expect your spouse to be perfect in every way. As humans we are bound to have strengths, and some weaknesses that we can improve upon. So prioritize what is absolutely important to you without asking too much.

8. As you are getting to know one another, consider discussing the following:

a. Discuss your spiritual and religious beliefs and goals. What are your views on music, hijab, zabiha meat, following a certain madhab (school of thought), etc? Discussing these issues ahead of time will help determine your religious compatibility and minimize major conflicts in future.

b. Clarify future role expectations. It’s important to talk about the roles and responsibilities of each partner in marriage – For example, who will take care of the finances, chores, etc? Discussing roles early on will save you from numerous arguments in the future.

c. Identify any family of origin issues. Don’t assume your spouse will see things exactly as you do, because you may have had different cultural upbringings. Explore topics such as (respect and influence of your parents in your marriage, joint families, raising kids, etc) to better comprehend and agree upon certain cultural expectations.

d. Discuss communication and conflict resolution skills. Couples that communicate effectively can resolve conflicts more gracefully. This will enable you to spend less time arguing and more time resolving.

e. Develop personal, couple, and family goals. You are committing to share a life with someone. Isn’t it important to discuss what you want your future to look like together? Where do you want to be in 3, 5, or 10 years? How many children do you want to have? When do you want to go for Hajj? Outlining a plan for life can be a wonderful way to learn about each other.

f. If at all possible, consider seeking “Pre-Marital Counseling”. For those that don’t have easy access to a muslim counselor, we found: pre-marital counseling

9. If you are previously married, then realize that your ex-spouse may also be a member on the matrimonial website. In that case, please be extra mindful and respectful of them, and DONT contact them or speak bad of them to others!

10. If you have been previously married and looking for re-marriage, (if you haven’t already done so), we encourage you to reflect upon your past marriage/relationship, and carefully analyze what mistakes you may have made, what you could have done better, and what improvements you will insha’Allah make next time. Discuss these topics with prospective matches to find proper compatibility.

11. When creating your profile, put useful information in the “About Me” section, and “What I am Seeking” sections. Those are the two most important sections that prospective matches will read.

12. When filling up the “About Me” section:

a. Try to be creative to catch the reader’s attention, and don’t hesitate to display your individual style. Don’t write a short boring line or two that looks typical. Be different. Be Yourself.

b. Present a comprehensive image of what you are all about, and highlight 3-5 of your good characteristics. Especially mention some things about yourself that may be unique.

c. Feel free to mention 1 or 2 of your weaknesses (if any) that you are trying to improve upon. It shows humility, and it also helps to present a true image of oneself, instead of painting a fake unrealistic picture.

13. When filling up the “What I am Seeking” Section:

a. Again be creative, and gain the attention of the reader by your unique personal style.

b. List 2 or 3 things that you would definitely like in a prospective spouse (“the must-haves???).

c. Feel free to also list a few things that are nice-to-have, but not an absolute must.

d. When you eventually communicate with prospective matches, be very honest about the qualities/traits that you would like to avoid.

14. Consider taking the “Myers Briggs Personality Test” located at: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp.

a. It may appear somewhat silly and useless, but amazingly, it might reveal things about yourself that you never realized. Click the following link to understand what your personality type reveals

b. More importantly, based on what personality type you have, you may find suggestions about which personality type(s) will be a good match/complement for you. Feel free to ask a prospective match to take the Myers Briggs test as well, if they haven’t already done so. In our opinion, it is extremely beneficial and insightful. So please do take the test.

c. Very detailed info on Meyers-Briggs personality test here.

15. Finally, please ‘Spread the Word’ about our website www.EternalGarment.com to other friends, family, and community members. Please help us get the word out about this very needed and beneficial service to the entire Muslim ummah. Jazak’ Allahu Khairan.
Feel free to LIKE our Facebook Page.
Please also follow us on Twitter @egarment.

We hope and pray that the above few pieces of advice will be useful to you as you seek your life partner (on a matrimonial website), who will insha’Allah be the coolness of your eyes… Ameen. Till next time, Salaam Alaykum.

General Tips for a Muslim Wedding

Samana Siddiqui, SoundVision Foundation, Bridgeview, Illinois

There are plenty of things to consider in wedding planning and arrangement. These are a few things which are either unknown or forgotten:

1. Invite the poor

According to one Hadith, the worst meal is the feast of a Walima in which rich people are invited and poor people are left out.

Don’t let your Walima be a class-based affair. Make sure that all guests are welcome, regardless of their economic situation.

2. Invite a multiethnic audience

Make your wedding party more representative of the Ummah (the worldwide Muslim community) by inviting Muslims of different ethnic backgrounds, whether it’s the local Imam and his family who are Turkish, the African-American Muslima who accepted Islam recently or the Lebanese family in your neighborhood.

3. Practice gender privacy at your wedding

This means providing women-only space where sisters who observe different levels and types of Hijab feel comfortable.

Most sisters like to dress up for a wedding, but they want to enjoy themselves without being watched by strange men. Also remember that your other guests have nothing to lose with this kind of set up so in the end, providing for women-only space works out for the best for everyone.

There are different ways to accommodate women-only space in a hall.

You can have separate rooms for men and women. This is the ideal solution for maximum privacy.
You can have a room in which there is a curtain or a row of tall plants.
In larger halls, you can make two distinct areas.
If your family tradition is not to have weddings arranged in this way, consider this: you will Insha Allah (if Allah wills) receive Allah’s blessings if you do so for seeking to accommodate your guests and trying to observe an Islamic practice which has been in place for about 1400 years.

In programs where women-only space is provided, children need to be divided up between parents. Older boys should stay with their dads. Older girls stay with mom. Young girls who are toilet trained can also go with dad.

It should also be remembered that professional photographers can violate the privacy of individuals by taking photos or videos without their consent. If you are taking photos or videos make sure not to include non-relatives or those who do not want their picture taken.

4. Set up a hospitality line

This is a line of hosts who will welcome guests when they arrive at the wedding.

Those who will be included in the hospitality line need to be told in advance that they will be part of it. They should not be told once they reach the hall for the wedding.

5. Have the hosts make rounds during dinner

When guests are digging into dinner, hosts should go around, making sure everyone has what they need and inviting those who are finished to take more.

6. Set the stage

It should be decided by the hall committee who will sit on stage at the wedding and exactly where. This has to be done carefully. The feelings of relatives and close family friends are important to consider when making decisions about this.

7. Make sure to set up a gift table

Where are you going to put all those goodies? Set up a specific gift table near the stage with a sign saying “Please put gifts here. Thank you.”

8. Mind the bathrooms

Take into account how many guests are coming and see if the washrooms at the hall are big enough. If it’s a large gathering, request hall administrators to have a cleaning person come in every half hour or so to clean up quickly in between.

Also, if one of the prayers occurs during the wedding, that means the washrooms will be used for Wudu (ablution before prayer). Ask the hall administrators to accommodate this by providing extra paper towels.

9. Avoid making unnecessary announcements

Avoid making unnecessary announcements of any sort during the program and keep the microphone close by so children do not mess around with it.